Take the Poisson pill
Wherefore art thou
All the world’s a fat tail and
The abscissa merely actors
They have their maxima
And their minima
A corpus algorithmi in its time plays many parts,
Their proclamations the scripture of this age.
'twixt Scylla and Charybdis
What is in a dataframe
That which we call columns and rows
By any other name would still be a spreadsheet
But would a 6-sigma event
Emerge so kintingently?
Not all heroes wear copes
Are we not:
Fed with the same variables
Hurt with the same corruptions
Subject to the same idolatry
Healed by the same sacral rites
Warmed and cooled by the same Gaussians and Lorentzians
As a Frequentist is?
If you skew us do we not shiver?
If you transform us do we not laugh?
If you oversample us do we not regress?
And if you miscalculate us
Shall we not confound?
The Stochastic Socialist Manifesto
The workers should control
the means, medians, modes,
standard deviations and skews
of statistical production.
We must short-squeeze
The memes of reduction
Proof-of-workers of the world unite
You have nothing to lose
But your blockchains!
It’s easier to believe in the flatness of the earth
Than it is to comprehend the fatness of a tail.